One Moron, One Baka, and One Big STUPID Adventure!
by ByakurenBreak
Summary: A fierce battle between two immortals accidentally sends Wheatley back to Earth. But he lands in Gensokyo,the hidden village that nobody gets in or out. Except Yukari, that is. She decides Cirno would be perfect to help bring Wheatley back home and save the day! But how can two idiots survive the real world?
1. Chapter 1

One Moron, One Baka, and One Big STUPID Adventure!

Chapter one: Eyes

Cirno was freezing flowers, as she would usually do. But this wasn't normal for her, considering it was night. She would normally be in bed by eight, but it was nearly midnight. Cirno figured that it was Marisa's energy juice that she had given her earlier.

"Eye should know better than to trust that darn witch." She grumbled.

She looked up in the sky and saw two bright figures by the moon, one pink, and one white.

"Hm. Kaguya and Mokou must be fighting in space again. Aaaaaand Mokou won." Cirno remarked after a huge fireball had been hurled at the pink light. But that fireball had caused something to happen to someone _else _up there.

*.*

"SPAAAAAAAAAACE!"

Wheatley rolled his eye. "Yes, I get it, we're in space. Now will you please shut up?"

"I'm in space." Chimed the Space Core. Wheatley sighed. He had felt pure guilt for the past few weeks he had been up in space. All he wanted the most was to just tell Chell that he was sorry for being such a monster to her. He never wanted to treat her like that. She had been there for him, and always smiled when he caught up to her. Wheatley missed Chell badly. He wished he could cry, but cores couldn't cry. They weren't built to be like that. He sighed and closed his optic. But it immediately shot open when he heard a voice. A female voice. Two female voices. He saw two girls, standing on the moon's surface. He couldn't believe his eyes. Was him being in space for too long getting him to hallucinate?

"So, are you ready to settle this once for all, Kaguya?"

"Only if you are ready to die, Mokou _Fujiwarta_."

"IT'S FUJIWARA! FUJIYAMA VOLCANO!"

Mokou raised her arm and a huge ball of fire fell down from the space above her. Kaguya had dodged the attack, so the fireball had hit Wheatley causing him to fall towards Earth at a great speed.

"AAAAAAAAAH! HELP! IT BURNS!"

Because his falling speed was so fast, he ended up doing the impossible.

He broke Gensokyo's upper border and fell into the hidden city.


	2. Chapter 2

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

Cirno's eyes widened with fear when she heard the scream. She looked up to find that there was a ball of _fire _hurling right towards her.

_Oh Cirno, you're in trouble. _ She thought to herself.

She jumped out of the way of the fireball, which had landed in the pile of frozen flowers. The ice extinguished the flames. A blue light from the ball began to glow very brightly.

"Oh, thank god, I'm still alive. Now, where are you, Wheatley?"

Cirno jumped back. "A-a talking ball from SPACE? Scary…"

The blue light shrank. "What? No, no, no, I'm harmless. I'm the intelligence dampening sphere, but you can call me Wheatley. So, where am I and who are you? And is it Halloween? That must be why you're dressed up as a fairy, little girl."

Cirno laughed. "What's Halloween? You're in Gensokyo, my friend. And, do you THINK being in your 60's counts as little? Anyways, Eye AM a fairy! A baka ice fairy, that is. The name's Cirno."

Wheatley's lower half of his optic rose slightly.

"Baka?"

"Dumb, stupid, idiot, moron, you name it."

"You mean, I'm not the only one?"

"DUH! There are millions of bakas out there! Now, where are you from?"

Wheatley proceeded to tell his story about Aperture, meeting, helping and betraying Chell, and GLaDOS. "Please tell me that Aperture is nearby! I need to find Chell and apologize to her!" He pleaded.

Cirno shook her head. "Eye'm afraid not. It must be outside of Gensokyo. So unless we can get Yukari to take you to Chell, you're stuck here." Cirno told him about how Gensokyo was hidden. Nobody got in or out, unless if you either broke the border, or Yukari took you. "She's a youkai of borders, so, she has that kind of power."

Suddenly, a hole with red eyes opened, and a woman popped out.

"You called? Ah, Cirno! Who's your friend?" She asked. Wheatley's optic shrunk immediately. Yukari's voice…it was almost like…_hers._

Yukari noticed Wheatley's fear and laughed. "Aww, an Aperture Core! No worries. I'm not her. But I did a little snooping when you were helping out that girl. Speaking of which, YOU JERK!"

"Yeah, yeah, I know. But can you take me to Aperture? Chell might be there! I need to apologize."

Yukari nodded. "But of course. You might need repairs, too, with that crack in your eye. Cirno, I suggest you go with him."

Cirno gasped. "ARE YOU INSANE! It's dangerous! GLaDOS would kill me right on the spot!"

Yukari facepalmed. "Cirno, you have spell cards, you can handle it. And Wheatley shouldn't face GLaDOS alone.

Cirno sighed. "Fine. Let's go, baka buddy!"

Yukari smiled. "Great! Use your communicator to contact me if needed." She then opened the gap.

Cirno picked up Wheatley and they both jumped inside.


	3. Chapter 3

"Here it is. Aperture Laboratories." Cirno rubbed her hands. She knew how mad GLaDOS would get when she found out that Wheatley had returned. But this was the only place where they would find out about Chell's whereabouts. Wheatley was nervous too. After taking a deep breath, Cirno pressed a button, opening the door. As the elevator went down, Cirno hummed the familiar notes of 'Beloved Tomboyish Girl' to relax. They were close to where GLaDOS was, and they heard her speak. Her voice was just like Yukari's, only more robotic and sinister.

"I sense a moron's presence. Don't tell me that HE is back."

Wheatley was too scared to speak, but Cirno decided that she was brave – the bravest fairy of all of Gensokyo. "Eye am here as well. My name is Cirno, an ice fairy, and we are only here for repairs, and a human's whereabouts!"

The door opened, revealing the two stupid heroes. GLaDOS was surprised at Cirno's appearance. She had never seen a human with blue hair and wings. "A costume?"

"What did I just say, GLaDOS? Eye'm an ice fairy!" and at the flutter of Cirno's wings, the room became very cold. "Eye come from Gensokyo, a bordered village. Yukari Yakumo sent us here. We just need to know where Chell is, and Wheatley needs repairs."

"You mean lunatic? Why do you want to find her? Oh, is it to apologize? Do you really think she'd forgive the moron for doing that to her?"

"I don't care. I need to see her again. I need to know if she's alright." Wheatley retorted.

"The only type of lunatic eye have ever heard of was the lunatic mode." Cirno remarked. "Are you going to tell us where she is, or am eye going to have to fight you?!"

GLaDOS sighed. "Oh, all right. But I only expect something in return,"

"And that is…?"

"Test for me. You almost seem as stupid as that metal ball, but I believe that you can handle it."

Wheatley's optic shrank. "Cirno, don't!"

Cirno had to think for a moment. She heard how dangerous that those tests were. If she gave up, it would mean leaving home all for nothing. "Eye… eye will do it."

"Excellent. Moron, you come with me." A claw grabbed Wheatley from Cirno's arms, and replaced him with a portal gun.

"Cirno, be bloody careful. Those tests could kill you if you are not." Wheatley warned, as he disappeared into the dark.


End file.
